5 x A

Over the last months, I spoke with several people that were out of energy and stressed. Not sure where it started, not sure how to solve it. Instead of doing the things they love doing, they focussed on work that drained energy and felt that they were out of control. Although rationally thinking, they were perfectly capable of understanding that relaxing, or other outside work activities would improve their wellbeing. But it was so hard to create space to relax while feeling stressed and had so much work to do. How to turn the wheel around if you do not feel you have time or headspace to turn it around?

Most of the time you cannot solve work pressure on your own. However, there are things you change within your scope of control. You can start turning the wheel around. 

  1. Accept that you are not working optimally at the moment. By ignoring the fact that something is not going well, you deny your wellbeing. In the end, this will not help you to get sustainable results. Most likely the situation will not change by itself. 
  2. Appreciate your acceptance and feeling of vulnerability. It is not perfect now, but the fact that you acknowledge the situation is the biggest step. This situation will bring you new insights, ideas, wisdom, knowledge, and a compass to navigate. 
  3. Allow yourself to take time to figure out what you need. Talk about these issues with peers, friends, family, coach, manager, or boss. See if they can support you in doing things differently or changing the system around you that changes the situation. 
  4. Amplify the things that give you energy in work and outside work. This prevents stress better compared to only focussing on the problems you face. It enables you to recharge your battery and take the wheel and drive. If you feel healthy, fit, and have a positive mindset, you are much better equipped to face challenges and stress. 
  5. Applaud the fact that you are in this process of change, applaud the fact that you try new things, applaud the fact that you take care of yourself.
Accept, Appreciate, Allow, Amplify and Applaud

Behind the Wheel

What intrigues me is the balance between happiness and unhappiness. The two are always connected. Only sometimes one is more dominant over the other.

Striving for happiness, without unhappy moments, does not exist in my opinion. It is our resilience that makes it easier to embrace moments of unhappiness. In times of lockdown and a lot of uncertainty around us, our resilience is sometimes put to the test.

When I talk to my coachees, they often start to appreciate unhappiness moments. Frustration, anger or fear are recognized. They are not pushed away anymore. It often provides insight and provides a key to approach things differently.

You are behind the wheel again, instead of led by negative patterns that we all have in our backpack. By trying to do things differently, and being open to small experiments in your daily life, makes you build up your resilience. Those small steps help you to break through patterns and anchor new ones.

Do you want to know more about this and you want to break through some patterns, send me a PM for intro meeting (free of charge)  

Weer achter het stuur zitten

Wat me intrigeert is de balans tussen geluk en ongeluk. De twee zijn altijd verbonden in mijn ogen. Alleen heeft de een soms de overhand op de ander. Maar het streven naar geluk, zonder ongeluk bestaat volgens mij niet.

Het is de veerkracht die maakt dat je momenten van ongeluk beter kan omarmen. In tijden van lockdown en veel onzekerheid om ons heen, wordt deze veerkracht soms op de proef gesteld.

Er ontstaat er vaak waardering voor ongeluk of ongelukkige momenten tijdens mijn coachingssessies. Frustratie, boosheid of angst worden herkend door de coachees. Ze mogen zijn in plaats van weg te drukken.  

Het geeft vaak inzicht en een sleutel om dingen anders te bekijken en aan te pakken. Zo zit je weer achter het stuur, in plaats van de negatieve patronen die we nou eenmaal in onze rugzak hebben zitten.

Juist door dingen anders te doen, te proberen en open staan voor kleine experimenten in je dagelijks leven, maakt het dat je de veerkracht opbouwt. Het zijn die kleine stapjes die patronen doorbreken en nieuwe patronen verankeren.

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